The worst thing you can say about it is that it's so unapologetically devoid of ambition that hours of play slip by in a fugue state of bearable distraction. You won't pump your fist in excitement once during its campaign, but nor will you be troubled by any glaring technical or design cock-ups. And, as a third-person shooter, Rise of the Dark Spark is categorically OK. They do this, of course, by shooting at each other. If you hit level 25 you can activate Prime Mode and start over, just like Call of Duty's Prestige rank. The bulk of the game is then an elongated flashback to Cybertron, switching between Autobot and Decepticon storylines as the old foes (in their video game forms) try to claim this powerful yet vague prize. The opening levels see the movie versions of Optimus Prime and the Autobots tracking the Dark Spark down on Earth, but failing to stop it falling into the hands of the mercenary Lockdown. It just sits there and waits to be captured by the various robot factions racing to claim its power to control time. A sort of evil counterpart to the Allspark, the series' recurring MacGuffin, the Dark Spark actually doesn't rise at all. The plot centres around the Dark Spark of that hilariously bad title. The result is muddled and largely flavourless. Here's the latest in that series, and it's one that attempts to reconcile Activision's previous non-movie Transformers games - the well received War for Cybertron and Fall of Cybertron - with Bay's clattering movie franchise.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is, at heart, the worst of everything that modern big-money moviemaking has to offer - spectacle, sex, special effects, and sanitized violence - without a single redeeming feature.It's hardly one of the great mysteries of our age, but I'll never understand why Call of Duty is often explicitly called out for its bombastic Michael Bay tendencies, yet the official games of Michael Bay's Transformers movies are so tame in comparison, despite coming from the same publisher. The relationship between Sam and girlfriend Mikaela ( Megan Fox) is laughably thin, and the film's need to overdo everything results in either misshapen comic relief scenes or action scenes so loud and large and quickly cut that they're simply empty blurs. The human characters aren't much better - the film bogs down in scenes where Sam's parents are concerned about him heading off to school, only to jettison all that in the name of globe-trotting action.
It was not, however, necessarily inevitable that said sequel would be good. Whether you loved or hated the original Transformers, it made so much money that a sequel was inevitable. Director Michael Bay brings in robot after robot after robot, making it impossible to tell the metal mega-warriors apart and resulting in action scenes where who's doing what to who is conveyed more by screaming bystanders than clear, comprehensible filmmaking. The faults of the first Transformers movie are even worse here.
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